Opportunities

What a month!  The Summer tour has been remarkably different than the Spring tour in pretty much every way.  It is not as organized, because it is our first one and school is not in session.  It is much more driving (we are usually in 2 different states each day).  The screenings are not as big as school ones because we are going to summer camps, churches, hair schools, etc.  Also, this little event called Lobby Days was smack dab in the middle of our second week of tour.  And when I say little, I of course mean that it was the 2 absolute most draining days I have experienced in 23 years. 

So, with all of this in mind, it's been strange to try and process my life.  I will be very happy to return home.  I miss my family and friends and it will be nice to try and find a bit of stability again (you know, like sleeping in the same place every night, having a bed, or not driving 4 hours to every next destination).  Also, I will be home in time for Fall and Winter, which are perfect in Tennessee, in my opinion.  However, this roadieship has been the single most amazing experience of my life.  I was talking to my good friend, Kristen the other day and she reminded me to enjoy every second of this experience because it will all be over in a month.  That is SUCH a strange thought.  It is pretty much all I have known for the entire duration of 2009.

I am dealing with a lot, personally.  I am ferociously wrestling with my personal demons, which seem to surface stronger and with greater clarity every day.  I would like to think this is a part of growth, though.  I look at my teammates and I am amazed.  I don't deserve these two amazing women in my life.  The three of us are so young and we have the weight of the world on our shoulders.  We are dealing with ridiculous things at home.  We deal with extremely high stress every day.  Oh, and we are attempting to change the world too.  

But...

We are also in love with life.  We spend much more time laughing, singing, dancing, swimming, reading, and learning than we do moping or being flustered.  I was doing my best to have a bit of personal meditation/prayer/retain-my-sanity time this morning and I heard these words in my head.  "Every day is a new opportunity to be a little better than you were the day before."  This is nothing earth-shattering or groundbreaking, but it really pierced my heart.  I just want to try and be better every single day.  I want to serve my incredible  teammates in every way I can.  I want to work on the worst parts of myself and make them not so awful.  I want to use each day as a chance to make someone's life a little better.

I guess we are a bit of a dichotomy.  Or maybe I just read too much into things.  Either way, I know that I am grateful for those people in my life who attempt to help me become better.  People like Kristen, who tell me to suck it up and enjoy all that I have.  People like Heather and Britta, who are brilliant examples of dealing with hardship and moving on.  People like my parents and siblings, who remind me constantly that I am loved and needed.

I guess if you have time, send some prayers and positive thoughts my way.  I need help mentally..and spiritually...and financially.

I love you all.  

Keep Your Eyes Open,

Brandon