I am writing my first blog post of Summer Tour. It is hard to believe that the last time I blogged, it was on my couch at home and now I am in Ohio, on my way to Delaware with the team. I am reunited with Heather again and joined by Britta, an amazing former roadie with an infectious spirit and a slight Boston accent. Also, Brandon, one of the art department interns, has joined us for our ride from coast to coast. We have already had so much fun, covered a LOT of ground, and seen people that I have missed dearly. We have laughed, eaten too much fast food, and made new friends. (I miss you, Team Canada). Jason, one of the filmmakers, declared this as the Summer of Love Tour 09. Interesting, to say the least...
Tour has started very strangely for me. I was so excited and ready to get back on the road and in two short (loooong) days, I have already begun to see the ugliest parts of myself. Tour has a tendency to bring that side out in you and you can either face it and deal with it, or ignore it and make your teammates hate you. I was able to deal with it for the most part in the Spring, but it came at an even pace. Experiencing this right from the beginning has been strange and such a challenge. The main things I keep feeling bubble up are unreasonable pride and selfishness. I guess we are all proud and selfish to a degree, but it has been intense enough to cause a fair amount of straight up bitter thoughts, for absolutely no reason. I am not sure why this is all surfacing so fast, but I am trying my hardest to deal with it and not let it fester or hide. I have every reason to be happy, excited, and full of life right now, but my soul just feels heavy and tired. I am doing what I can to combat this. Sorry if this is a bit gloomy, but I want to be transparent. I hope this is one of those times where I am on the edge of a breakthrough and this is just the end of something I have to push through. We will see.
In about a week, I will be in DC, talking with Senators and members of Congress, explaining to them why they should vote for the LRA Disarmament and Northern Uganda Recovery Act of 2009. It's crazy how far we have come.
With Hope,
Brandon
2 comments:
My thoughts and prayers are with you. You are a good man, and I know you will make it through this. I am SO VERY proud of you...
I think it takes a lot of courage to admit that there are even ugly sides to yourself, and even more courage to be willing to deal with them.
On a happier note, since you are on the Summer of Love Tour ... and on the East Coast ... when in Virginia, remember that Virginia is for Lovers! (They sell t-shirts that say that. It's pretty much the coolest thing on the planet)
-Hannah
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